I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
