seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
