My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I believe in your delicious
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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