Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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