I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
