I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
