True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
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There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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