My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
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Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
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Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"