You can't special order awesome
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me