i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
