I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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