Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
