I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
