Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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