So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
