"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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