the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
