ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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