I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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