i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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