I am midnight drunk by noon
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize