whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
