did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
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