...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
