Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
