"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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