haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
