im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
