took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
