I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She announced her abortion via fbk
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
