I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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