he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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