People in love make me want to vomit
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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