legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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