I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
FUCK WHALES
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
