it glows. i had to have it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
