You're completely useless in the revolution.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
