We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
