There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
