Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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