Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
try to milk me bitch
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