that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
