I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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