tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think my vagina is haunted
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
