Porn is love you can see.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
