I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
