Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
