I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize