I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
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she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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