I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
