Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Ketchup is God's man juice
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
