I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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