I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
