I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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