About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You are a genius and a whore.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
