that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
