She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We are two peas in an std pod
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Im part way to drunk.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
