afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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