Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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