PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
