Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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