Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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