4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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