Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
dude. I can hear the air.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
