i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
