Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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